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Nechochwen: Azimuths to the otherworld
05/08/10 || Altmer
Question for all of you guys, particularly the pretentious cock that thought up the album name – what the fuck is an Azimuth?
The answer is an angle to the heavens, approximately. Wikipedia describes it as: An azimuth is an angular measurement in a spherical coordinate system. The vector from an observer (origin) to a point of interest is projected perpendicularly onto a reference plane; the angle between the projected vector and the reference vector on the reference plane is called the azimuth. It’s an Arabian word. So, if this is some astronomical reference, what the fuck is then up with the folk black metal contained here in this album? You see, I get how the cover art links in with the whole thing, but to me the rest of the titles seem to be conceptual pretentious bullshit. Never mind, it’s black metal anyway. If it’s not Satan, it’s Frankeckeoklakuzimtwatosaura from Uggebuggestan. Who the fuck gives a shit about mythological deities anyway? (Not me, that’s for sure. I’m an atheist.)
Ok, so, the music then. What we have here is what might be best described as Agalloch with a better guitar sound and a worse, worse, infinitely worse drum sound. You get your requisite black metal blasting, your acoustic zzz-interlude moments, some Celtic-style guitar plucking, decent growls, and an album that is at least 10-20 minutes too long for my taste. It’s not bad by any means, but shit, some of this is so slow and tedious I’d enjoy sawing my cock off more than actually listening to this. This is the kind of stuff that makes good background music for doing something else. I could play Age of Empires to this (whichever version you like) and enjoy this because it’s not annoying or anything, but actually going out of my way to put this on? No, sir. I’d rather listen to something interesting instead.
You see, in this mess of acoustic guitars, black metal screams, and few other things, there are no actual songs and the tracklisting is basically an arbitrary set of points specified by the convenience of how well the only band member can play the riffs in sequence. There are no actual songs in this clusterfuck. I don’t know if this guy knows the concept of songwriting because it sure as fuck doesn’t sound like it.
So, now this leads me to another question: out of everything Bindrune has sent us so far, what isn’t forest meditation metal? Celestiial was. Blood of the Black Owl was. And this, this too is forest meditation metal. Perhaps not as bad as Celestiial, but it’s still too slow, too little black metal, and too little of anything good for its own sake. Clearly not everyone can make good music and this lad (for it’s a one-man project) tries very hard not to suck, but falls flat nonetheless. I’m sorry, but this style of experimental music bores me to the fullest and I have no patience for this kind of stuff. Sorry, bro, but you’ll have to take your forest yammering elsewhere. This is not my shit. Try the eco-hippies next door, or Morgana O’Reilly in the Pagan Folk Church of Wotan down the village, you know, the girl with the red hair and bad Celtic tattoos.
Recommendation: Ten weeks in the big city to counterbalance all the pretentious epic forestness found in this CD. During this time, a continual torture consisting of Rihanna, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga hits, to enforce the idea of musical song structure. Upon return, another recording to prove the defendant has LEARNED from his endeavors in the big city.
- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Bindrune Recordings
- Website: Nechochwen MySpace
- Band
- Nechochwen: everything
- Tracklist
- 01. Allumhammochwen – The Crossing
- 02. At Night May I Roam
- 03. Gissis Mikana
- 04. Red Ocher
- 05. The Eyes of the Mesingw
- 06. Charnel House
- 07. Graves of Grandeur
- 08. Confluence
- 09. Noametha, You Are The Ghost In The Water
- 10. The Forgotten Death Ritual
- 11. Hunting Among the Stars
- 12. Four Effigies
- 13. Azimuths to the Other World
- 14. Graves of Grandeur (reprise)
